How Hazelle Teo & Fiancé James Wong Resolve Petty Fights Is Actually Something Most Couples Can Probably Identify With

All couples argue from time to time, but what really matters is how they communicate and work things out. 

That’s exactly what YES 933 DJ Hazelle Teo, 31, and her fiancé, James Wong, 26, discussed in the latest episode of their Couple’s Classroom podcast, after a follower asked about the smallest thing they’ve ever argued over.

After sharing that Hazelle sometimes gets annoyed when he repeatedly forgets things, a problem they’ve since resolved with a shared calendar, James said he can now spot the telltale signs she’s upset with him.

Hazelle admitted to James: “Sometimes I make passive-aggressive remarks to let you know I’m a little upset and want more attention.”

James chimed in: “Let me put it this way. When she’s upset, she makes it very clear. I can list the things she does. First, she pouts. Second, she stomps her feet really loudly and makes sure I hear it. And third, she’ll just stare out the window.”

“But even though it’s obvious, that’s also my cue to step in — it tells me she’s ready to talk. I’d much rather she do all this than not show me she’s ready,” he added.

Hazelle agreed, explaining that when she’s already not feeling her best, it only makes things worse if James doesn’t approach her to talk things out. 

Those signals, she said, are her way of letting him know she needs comfort, and when he doesn’t pick up on them, it can leave her feeling even worse. 

James, however, admitted that there are times he gets upset with her too. While he’s usually the one who gives in first and coaxes her, he shared that he also needs reassurance in those moments.

As the more emotional one in the relationship, compared to James’ more logical personality, Hazelle said she’s grateful that he’s willing to put aside his ego and reach out first.

“When I'm upset or when I’m angry, it’s very hard for me to speak to you first. Therefore the pouts, the stomping of the feet, and the looking out of the window [with a sad backtrack playing],” she added.

Over time, Hazelle had also picked up ways to calm down and handle petty arguments.

“I take some time away from James, just [to be] by myself. I focus on my work, I look through Instagram videos, I do some doomscrolling, and that helps me feel better. And when I feel better, I’m in a better state of mind to communicate with him like a mature, proper adult,” she said.

James takes a slightly different approach, often keeping silent.

“I feel like if I actually say anything [while upset], it’s going to be hurtful. I know that when I’m very angry at you, I just practice silence. Sometimes, love comes in different shapes and forms, and silence and patience is one of them. So when I’m silent, it means I’m trying to calm myself down, and I don’t want to say something I would regret,” he explained.

After a fight, James usually takes the lead in hugging and comforting Hazelle. He believes that a healthy conflict dynamic works best when one person “pushes” while the other “withdraws,” and he takes on the latter role to help them resolve arguments more effectively.

Through experience, the couple learned how to resolve petty arguments after they arise and have figured out the best ways and times to approach each other.

How do you resolve arguments with your other half?

Photos: jamesandhazelle/ Instagram, Mediacorp

You can catch the full episode of Couple’s Classroom on YouTube, or watch it below.