Couples Living Together Before Marriage: Clashing Over Living Habits & Other Lessons Hazelle Teo & Fiancé Learnt

Yes 933 DJ Hazelle Teo, 31, and her fiancé James Wong, 26, are set to tie the knot this year. Though they’ve been together for nearly two years now, the couple have already been living together for some time.

In the latest episode of their Couple’s Classroom podcast, the pair opened up about the pros and cons of living together, as well as the compromises they’ve had to make to adapt to each other’s lifestyles.

When Hazelle and James first started dating, she was renting a room in Bukit Timah, and he would stay over occasionally. Those visits became more frequent after she moved into her own West Coast condo in August 2024.

Eventually, they decided it made more sense for James to move in. Though cohabitation isn’t typically encouraged in his Christian faith, James shared that he chose to do so because he was certain Hazelle was the person he’s going to marry.

Hazelle believes living together lets couples see each other’s true selves. As she puts it: “I totally believe in testing before purchasing. I think that’s very important, what if you don’t like [them after]?”

Living together meant dividing up the chores — James handles the cooking and dishwashing (since Hazelle isn’t a fan), while she takes the job of vacuuming the floors. These arrangements evolved naturally over time, as they worked out what suited them best and helped them live together more harmoniously.

That said, the couple once clashed over their differing cleanliness habits. Hazelle likes to keep her home spotless, while James is more laid-back — tossing his socks on the floor after getting home instead of placing them in the laundry straight away. 

“Living together is a whole new learning journey, because we’re both very different individuals with different living habits. When we [started living together] I realised the difference between men and women. It’s so different,” James shares. 

He continues: “The first fight we ever had in this house was in the toilet.”

James was taking a shower when he noticed halfway through that the water had risen to his ankles. The bathroom flooded, with water even spilling out of the shower. Panicking, he turned off the tap and threw his towel on the floor to “soak up the water”.

Hazelle interjected: “He took the towel he had to wipe his body with and threw it on the ground to soak up all the dirty water he was showering with.”

When Hazelle saw the towel on the floor, in James’ words, “all hell broke loose”. 

She was furious, explaining that the towel meant for his body should have stayed clean. “You should have used a scrub or a pail to push the water back in,” she said.

“I was so angry. I was like, no one in their right mind would do that — it’s basic hygiene. So I forced him to throw the towel away,” Hazelle added.

James, on the other hand, felt the towel could simply be washed since “it was just water.”

Hazelle then posed a question to her listeners: “Do you think it’s okay to wash your socks and underwear in the same batch?”

James was fine with it, but Hazelle disagreed. “That’s what detergents are for, and hot water is enough to kill all the bacteria. And come on, my feet aren’t that dirty,” he declared.

He continued: “That’s what I realised. If you’re a different gender, straight from the get-go the standards of cleanliness are different. And for guys, we’ve been through army. The threshold for cleanliness is higher. We have no time to wash towels in NS, we just use it.”

Hazelle then added: “So that’s what we’re saying, it’s like Mars versus Venus, right? When staying together, there’s a lot of communication and compromise needed, and plenty of boundaries to set. I’m grateful that James is flexible when it comes to my living habits.”

For James, the experience also came with a silver lining  — he feels he’s gotten “cleaner” since moving in with Hazelle.

Photos: Mediacorp, jamesandhazelle/ Instagram

You can catch the full episode of Couple’s Classroom on YouTube, or watch it below.