S’porean Gen Z Mum Of 3 Shares How She Copes Financially, And Why Being A Mum "Is [Her] True Identity"

With the rising cost of living in Singapore, it’s no surprise that it is one of the reasons many young people are choosing to delay or forgo having children, prioritising their careers and personal goals instead. 

However, local TikToker Cynthia Ong (@tiredgenzmom), looks at things differently. Unlike many other Gen Zs, the 27-year-old — who has three sons aged one, four and five — always wanted to be a mum. 

She got married at 21, and planned for the birth of all three of her little ones. 

In the latest episode of web docuseries Gen Z Crash Course, Cynthia shows YES 933 jocks Chen Qijia and Zhong Kunhua what it’s like to live a day in her life, and shares about the ups and downs of raising three boys as a young mum. 

When on the topic of finances, Cynthia shares: “It was especially hard when I first gave birth at 22 because I lost my job due to Covid two months before I was due to give birth.”

In order to deal with the high cost of living in Singapore, Cynthia and her husband make specific lifestyle choices in order for their family of five to live comfortably. 

“We have to sacrifice certain things. For example, we don’t really travel much. We don’t really take the airplane, we travel to Malaysia a lot by car, but we really cut down on travelling because that [costs] a huge amount,” says Cynthia, who also shares that being in a dual-income household helps. 

The majority of their spending budget goes to the kids’ day-to-day necessities like food, diapers, and education. High medical bills were one of the unexpected expenses, reveals Cynthia. 

“Before having kids, I didn’t know medical fees for kids are so expensive,” says Cynthia. Her husband adds: “We don’t visit the GP very often, but it starts from S$200 and up.”

Despite the high financial cost of having kids, Cynthia does not miss her pre-motherhood life.

“This is all I ever wanted. I really want to have a family of my own, and the thought of being single again is not ideal for me,” she reveals. 

On a regular weekday, Cynthia gets off work and starts her evening routine, where she inevitably has to deal with occasional tantrums and getting her little ones fed, before having time to herself after the kids sleep at 10pm. 

She spends her me-time replying to messages and e-mails, as well as editing her videos and watching YouTube to unwind. She, however, reveals that although she feels burnt out at times, she never longs for the freedom she used to have before becoming a mother. 

“I feel that [being burnt out] is just a feeling. For example if it’s a hard day and both boys are having a bad day, I will be extra tired when I finally go to sleep. But I feel that it’s when I just need to rest,” she explains.

While some people focus on lofty career aspirations or furthering their studies, it was never a priority for Cynthia. 

“A lot of people say after being a mum, they lose their identity. I mean, partly yes, but I feel like being a mum is my true identity. Ever since I had my first kid, I felt that I was built for this. It’s like how people want to be a lawyer or a doctor. [For me], I want to be a mother, and this is like my calling in life,” chuckles Cynthia, who adds that her kids will always remind her top priority. 

Cynthia had a rough childhood, and while she navigates her children’s feelings as they grow, she is also healing the trauma she went through as a kid. 

“[There are] a lot of things I have to unlearn, like how I discipline my children and all. It’s really unlearned from how my parents were to me,” she reveals. 

“When I was seven, my parents got separated. But even before that, I grew up in a very abusive family. Anything and everything resorts to violence,” she shares. 

Even after her parents’ split, Cynthia was taken to live at an acquaintance’s house, where she also suffered from abuse. She wasn’t allowed to have dinner with them, and had to eat at the altar in the corridor while standing on a step stool.

She’s determined to let the trauma end with her, and is constantly processing the way in which she reacts to her kids’ behaviour. 

“The reason why I want to share this is also [because] I feel that not all [people] from an abusive family background will grow up to be with the bad (sic),” she says. 

If she had a chance to return to her 22-year-old self, Cynthia would make the same decisions all over again. 

“In fact, I want to revisit all those tough moments and tell myself ‘you will see the light at the end of the tunnel’. My kids are the reason why I am so motivated to keep working hard every single day, just to be a better version of myself.”

Watch the full episode of Gen Z Crash Course below to see how the DJs spent the day with Cynthia and her family.