This Couple Under 40 Shared How They Raise Seven Children, Aged Four to 21; Spends S$3.2K A Month On Kids' Basic Expenses

A Malaysian couple, both under 40, recently made headlines for raising seven children, with two already attending university.

The Johor-based pair, Ye Kaijie, 39, and his wife He Yiling, 38, spoke to Malaysian media about their love for children and the parenting philosophy behind managing their unusually large household.

The couple shared that they got married more than 20 years ago after dating for just three months. The sudden decision came after elders from both sides of the family passed away, with tradition calling for them to tie the knot within 100 days.

Kaijie and Yiling, who run a kindergarten that also includes special education classes, told Sin Chew Daily that their original plan was to “not get pregnant too soon” after marriage and to “only have two children”.

But life clearly had other plans, and they welcomed their first child not long after getting married.

Their seven children are aged 21, 20, 13, 11, eight, six, and four. The eldest two are studying engineering and accounting at the University of Malaya and Universiti Sains Malaysia respectively, while their third child is attending an arts school in Johor.

As educators, the couple say they choose not to rely on old-fashioned parenting methods like scolding or caning. Instead, they believe in patiently guiding their children by leading through example.

“We are our children’s role models. What we do, they will imitate,” they said.

The pair avoids using phones around their children and instead encourage more interaction. The children can only have their own phones from age 10, mainly for schoolwork and online classes.

Kaijie and Yiling’s parenting style focuses on strict routines and encouraging independence from a young age. 

The children follow fixed schedules for meals, showers, and bedtime. If they don’t stick to the routine, they have to face the consequences themselves, such as oversleeping or being late for school.

They also start teaching them basic chores from as young as two years old. As the kids grow older, their responsibilities increase — younger children handle simple tasks like folding socks, while older siblings take on bigger jobs such as laundry, vacuuming, and cooking. The older siblings also help guide and supervise their younger brothers and sisters.

Each child also has a pet rabbit and is fully responsible for feeding and caring for it, helping to build their sense of responsibility.

According to Kaijie, he even makes adjustments around the house, such as lowering shower heads and water heater switches, to make it easier for the children to carry out tasks by themselves.

The couple prefer letting their children learn through natural consequences rather than scolding. For example, if a child draws on the wall, they have to clean it themselves; or if they play with water in the bathroom, they may be tasked with cleaning the toilet.

All seven children practice taekwondo, with one daughter already reaching black belt level and qualifying as a coach and referee. The parents, however, stress that martial arts are for self-defense and discipline, not fighting.

Beyond discipline, the couple also make community service a regular family affair. 

During Chinese New Year and the Winter Solstice Festival, they visit old folks’ homes and orphanages to hand out food and essentials. During floods, they also volunteer in affected areas, sometimes even carrying the children along from a young age.

They also make a point of exposing their kids to Malaysia’s multicultural traditions, including Hari Raya celebrations and visits to Malay friends’ homes.

One challenge of raising a large family is managing jealousy and feelings of unfairness between siblings. To handle that, the couple teaches younger children to respect their older siblings’ seniority, rather than expecting older siblings to always give in, as with many traditional families.

They believe this helps the older children develop a stronger sense of responsibility and keeps sibling rivalry in check.

When it comes to household expenses, Kaijie revealed they spend around RM10,000 (S$3.2k) a month on their children’s basic needs, adding that becoming a father early pushed him to work harder.

“Every time a new child was born, our family income somehow increased too,” he said, joking that it felt like God was watching over them.

The couple also teaches their children financial literacy from a young age, encouraging them to track their spending and savings. Several of the children have even acted in Chinese web dramas and Singaporean TV productions after being spotted during auditions in Johor Bahru.

Despite facing two miscarriages in the past, including one involving twins, the couple said they never gave up on having children.

The couple declared: “The children are our emotional pillar. No matter how tired we are, once we come home and see them, everything fades away.”