Evelyn Tan On Homeschooling, Supporting Her Kids With Dyslexia And Knowing When To Move On

As many may already know, local celebrity couple Darren Lim, 53, and Evelyn Tan, 51, spent four years living on a boat with their four children, Kristen, Jairus, Way, and Elliot, who are 21, 19, 16, and 12 respectively this year.

The family of six began life at sea when Kristen was around eight, before moving back to their three-bedroom Upper Changi condo when she turned 12 to prepare for her PSLE.

Until Kristen was 17 and entered polytechnic, Evelyn took on the role of both mother and teacher, homeschooling all four children.

On the latest episode of 8days chat show DNA, Evelyn and Kristen sat down with host Rebecca Lim to reflect on their homeschooling journey, with Evelyn sharing why she eventually decided to transition her children back into the mainstream education system.

When asked about the house rules she sets for her children, Evelyn said: “For us, the most important thing to do as a parent is to really [raise] kids in a way that they can be respectful of themselves and of the people around them.”

She added: “That’s why when we went through homeschooling and we asked ourselves what was the reason we wanted to homeschool, the most important checkbox for us to tick was to make sure we [teach] children to be good citizens of this country. If let’s say, they are not that smart academically, it’s still fine, we can then put a lot more focus on the values that we impart to them.”

Rebecca noted that homeschooling four children would have required significant commitment — something Evelyn agreed with. She shared that they were fortunate to meet other homeschooling families, whose well-behaved children gave them confidence in their decision.

At the same time, Evelyn and Darren saw their flexible work schedules as an opportunity to spend more time with their children, which further influenced their choice to homeschool.

“For me, as a homeschooling teacher, I think the biggest challenge came when my children presented learning difficulties. For my boys, because they have dyslexia, it became a challenge to get them to school academically,” Evelyn shared. 

While her sons were strong in sports, they struggled with academic subjects like essay writing. Evelyn recalled that her eldest son Jairus was unable to read in Primary 1, which raised concerns, especially since Kristen had already been reading at five.

“He had a pretty hard time adjusting to the fact that he had dyslexia, and he was feeling very upset. He was not able to focus on his academics, so can you imagine if he were in a mainstream school and he had to face this and deal with it emotionally. The teachers would’ve probably been understanding, but still, he would not have met expectations,” she explained.

Jairus took about a year to come to terms with his condition, and Evelyn said she was grateful he did not face academic pressure during that time — though she admitted she herself felt a great deal of stress.

Inspired by her experience, Evelyn now teaches at the Dyslexia Association of Singapore.

“Was it difficult for you to transition from homeschooling all your kids to letting them go?” asked Becks. 

Evelyn replied: “I made the decision to let them go at a time where things were really turbulent, and that was during Covid.”

“We were faced with several issues. I had to deal with the lack of social interaction, for my number three (Way), who’s a very sociable person. I think the last straw came when my health was not doing too well. I realised that maybe it was a little too much for me to take on,” she revealed. 

Turning to Kristen, she added: “I remember I was screaming at the brothers a lot right? During that time.”

Evelyn admitted she had been struggling, noting that mothers often give their “maximum” to their children.

However, she also reflected on an important lesson. Much like the safety advice given during turbulence, one must take care of themselves before caring for others.

“So I learnt that in a rough way, but I’m thankful for that,” she said.

Photos: Mediacorp, darrenlim72/ Instagram, evetan7/ Instagram

To watch the full episode, click here or scroll down to watch.