Groom Sends Wedding Dinner Invoice To No-Show Guests, S’porean Couples Weigh In

The invoice (above) also included a brusque note that says:

“This invoice is being sent to you because you confirmed seat(s) at the wedding reception during the Final Headcount. The amount above is the cost of your individual seats. Because you didn't call or give us proper notice that you wouldn't be in attendance, this amount is what you owe us for paying for your seat(s) in advance. You can pay via Zelle or PayPal. Please reach out to us and let us know which method of payment works for you. Thank you!"

It is unknown whether the no-shows coughed up the money.

Since it’s wedding season now, 8days.sg asks married Singaporeans on whether they would issue an invoice for guests who pang seh (not show up for an agreed appointment).

“No I would not. It’s unreasonable to issue an invoice, since you usually invite people whom you have a meaningful relationship with to your wedding. I value their friendship above that,” says app designer Tricia Lin, 32, who adds that she would feel more concerned about their no-show, and “check in with them to see if they need help”.

But she concedes that she would still pursue the matter, albeit more subtly: “I won’t issue an invoice, but I’ll guilt-trip the f****** till they treat me to a good meal.”

Project manager Kelvin Yeo, 33, had “quite a few” former schoolmates and relatives who did not show up to his wedding dinner in 2017. “There was even one who didn’t have the courtesy to message me to say sorry,” he recalls. “That was enough reason to cut contact with the whole lot of them. I think my mum sang, ‘I see your true colours shining through…’”

Despite his annoyance, he reckons it’s a “cheapo” move to send an invoice to the guests. He points out, “They’re not obliged to attend, but if you really can’t make it, it’s always good courtesy to message or call and apologise.”

He also recognises the futility of trying to collect payment, reasoning: “If they already dare to pang seh, what makes you think they will actually pay you because they RSVP?”

The married people we interviewed agree that even longtime friendships will be strained by a wedding dinner no-show. “Unless there’s a good reason [for not showing up], like if somebody’s wife was in the hospital or their mother is in the ICU,” says Caleb Lim, 42, an investment consultant. While he “doesn’t expect a no-show guest to pay after all the hassle”, he shares that he would “just cut him out [of my life]”.

Meanwhile, Juliet Yeo, a financial planner in her 40s, points out that “usually for Chinese weddings people will still send an ang pow for blessing if they cannot make it to the dinner”, which would make up for the cost of the seat.

Newlyweds Shin Ng, 32, and Randy Toh, 31, both in the aviation industry, concur that couples should expect to absorb the costs of their wedding reception regardless of whether their guests turn up. “You invite a person to your wedding because you want to celebrate your happiness with them. Even if you had already paid in advance to book his seat and he didn't show up, why are you expecting him to pay for your wedding? People have a choice whether to attend or not,” says Shin.

According to NDTV, the disgruntled American groom who issued the invoice got plenty of support on social media after posting his issued invoice on Facebook. He declared: "I got over 200+ inbox messages from people thanking me for the #INVOICE post. Many have shared horror stories about people who did not show up at weddings and birthday parties... Very sad. My #PETTYPOST has turned into something deeper... It has exposed people's lack of accountability and always finding a way to make themselves the victim."

Do you agree?

Photos: Pexels, twitter.com/phil_lewis