Meg 2: The Trench Review: Jason Statham & Wu Jing Team Up In Watered-Down Monster Shark Sequel

Meg 2: The Trench (PG13)

Starring Jason Statham, Wu Jing, Cliff Curtis

Directed by Ben Wheatley

Meg 2 is essentially the same movie as the first one (hey, even Pippin the Yorkshire terrier is back!), except this time the thrills and awes are watered down. Jason Statham, game as always for silly heroics, takes on prehistoric sharks as well as eco-ravagers and ruthless capitalists. The first half is a pain to watch: it takes place at the bottom of the ocean, where it’s all shadows and darkness (remember the murky mess that is Underwater?). Things perk up a bit when the havoc moves to the surface as a pack of salamander-like dinosaurs and a giant octopus attack a resort — all very Jurassic World-ly. Elsewhere, franchise (‘fin’-chise?) newbie and CCCP-approved actor Wu Jing has a more prominent role than advertised as an Elon Musk-esque explorer-entrepreneur, delivering some expected China-leaning rhetoric. (FYI: The Meg movies are bankrolled by Mainland Chinese media company CMC Pictures.) As for the megalodons, they aren’t as impressive this time around: they feel like employees in their own fear factory. (2.5/5 stars) out in cinemas

Talk To Me (NC16)

Starring Sophie Wilde, Alexandra Jensen, Joe Bird, Miranda Otto

Directed by Danny Philippou & Michael Philippou

Aussie YouTube creators Danny and Michael Philippou’s promising debut feature is a cautionary tale about drugs disguised as a séance-gone-awry thriller. Instead of narcotics, the teens get their shiokness from being possessed by a spirit conjured up by a ceramic embalmed hand (a highly effective stand-in for a Ouija board). For 90 seconds, the devil-may-care youths get to be as high as a kite; any longer than the stipulated limit, however, there’ll be hell to pay. Wilde anchors the film with a powerful performance as the troubled protagonist battling personal demons as well as an evil entity on the loose. (3.5/5 stars) out in cinemas

Assassin Club (NC16)

Starring Henry Golding, Daniela Melchior, Sam Neill, Noomi Rapace

Directed by Camille Delamarre

If there’s one takeaway from Snake Eyes, it’s that Golding isn’t cut out to be an action hero… at least not yet. That perception won’t change anytime soon with this uninspired dreck, the kind Steven Seagal has been making, like, forever. HG plays an assassin hired to kill seven assassins, who in turn are hired to kill him. Huh? Who cares? Sorry, but bland Golding tries too hard to be badass; the camera shakes way too much; and the action is short on actual excitement. It’s remotely acceptable if the Mission: Impossible, John Wick and Extraction movies don’t exist. Maybe. (1.5/5 stars) out on iTunes & Google Play