S’poreans Share Tell-Tale Signs Of Someone Who Grew Up With A Domestic Helper At Home, From Leaving A Mess To Not Washing The Dishes

Can you tell someone was raised by a domestic helper just by their behaviour? Apparently so, according to responses on a Reddit discussion,

“What screams ‘I was raised by a domestic helper’?” the OP asked. That prompted a deluge of responses from Singaporeans eager to share the obvious tell-tale signs. 

The OP got the ball rolling, starting with: “The first thing that comes to mind is being unable to do basic household tasks. What do you all think?”

On that note, netizens started listing specific tasks that people raised by helpers often don’t do themselves, like asking others to fetch water, leaving dirty dishes in the sink, or struggling to find things around the house.

Some also noted that many don’t know how to cook or do laundry — skills that require hands-on experience rather than just watching.

A commenter shared: “I once heard this story told by an educator, seen in a primary one classroom where the kids had to change into their PE attire for PE lesson. One kid did not know how to unbutton his own shirt. He just stood there with his arms out waiting for someone to unbutton the shirt for him.”

Others pointed out that kids raised by domestic helpers can often be recognised by the way they speak to others. According to them, these children tend to request things in a commanding way, as if giving orders, and ask for favours as though they’re entitled.

One netizen recalled encountering a “spoiled brat” at a bakery. When her helper told her she couldn’t bring her scooter inside, she simply let it go and said [to her]: “You go and take lah.” She also kept calling out “oi, aunty” to her helper whenever she spotted a pastry she wanted, leaving the netizen wondering if her parents actually allowed her to speak that way.

“Likely she picked it up from the parents’ way of speaking to the helper,” another user suggested, with others adding that when parents don’t correct bad behaviour, kids can grow up “rude” or “lacking manners,” since helpers often avoid disciplining them for fear of being scolded by their employers.

Even in adulthood, some habits can reveal that a person grew up with a domestic helper at home.

“So this is an observation on my millennial partner who had a helper growing up. He's not pampered — he will wash his own dishes and laundry. But he is completely oblivious to non-obvious household tasks — clutter gets left everywhere, random stuff gets piled up or shoved in a convenient space. It's because he was brought up with a helper who was in charge of keeping the household tidy — so all that actual responsibility and organisational stuff was conveniently outsourced,” shared a netizen. 

She added that while her partner handles “obvious” tasks, he doesn’t see keeping the house tidy as his responsibility.

Another wrote: “Colleagues who leave food scraps in the office pantry sink and wait for others to clean up after them. Shows lack of detail as well.”

Others also noted that some people raised by helpers may not develop a close bond with their parents, even as adults, since they spent most of their formative years with the helper while their parents were often busy at work.

However, with all that said, a fair number also argued that these traits point more to being pampered than to being raised by a domestic helper. 

They felt that entitled behaviour or an inability to be independent could just as easily stem from having a stay-at-home parent or simply not being taught how to handle basic chores.

One netizen shared that although they grew up with a domestic helper, their parents enforced strict rules around respect and responsibility. They were expected to treat the helper with authority, were disciplined if they were rude, and had to learn basic life skills like cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry.

Household responsibilities were also shared — such as washing dishes, cleaning up their own mess, and preparing their own meals if the helper was resting. They emphasised that upbringing ultimately depends on the parents’ values. 

For the same netizen, her husband, who didn’t grow up with a helper, had everything done by his “controlling mother” and only learned basic housework and cleaning in adulthood after being dependent on her his entire life.

A few reasoned that having a helper does not always equate to a child being brought up spoiled. 

“At the end of the day, a child is a parent’s responsibility and greatest model. You treat your helper like shit, your child will learn. You can always teach your child to be respectful, independent and kind even with a helper,” one wrote.

Another added: “This kind of framing can come off a bit classist. Better to focus on teaching kids responsibility rather than tying it to who raised them.”

So, what’s your take — are certain habits a giveaway of being raised by a domestic helper, or just the result of growing up sheltered? Is it really that easy to clock someone who was raised by a helper?

Photos: Reddit, Annushka Ahuja/ Pexels