Sharon Au Hadn’t Realised What Was Missing During Her Childhood Years Until Jeanette Aw Told Her This

Sharon Au has spoken about her troubled childhood before, but it wasn't until a chat with Jeanette Aw that the 50-year-old former host realised something new about how her growing years have deeply impacted her life. 

The pair's raw, introspective chat on the latest episode of her YouTube series, JA Unscripted, revealed they had very different childhoods and family backgrounds.

Jeanette comes across outspoken and sure of herself, which she attributes to her supportive parents. 

On the other hand, Sharon, a self-professed people pleaser, candidly admits: “Confidence is something I’ve always struggled with.”

Sharon's parents divorced when she was young, and as a child, she had to constantly live with different relatives. She'd lost contact with her father for over 20 years before he passed away on Christmas Day of 2023.

“I didn’t have that kind of parental role at home for me, giving me that silent recognition. In the past, I always told myself there’s no difference, I still grew up healthy. But after hearing about your experience, I realise it actually makes a big difference,” Sharon says to Jeanette.

“Even if it’s quiet and reserved, something spiritual, or just physically being there, it makes a huge impact if there’s someone at home [to give you that]. That kind of confidence, the love parents give, I can see it in you, and that’s why you’re at ease being on your own.”

Sharon may share a close relationship with her mum now, but she reveals that their relationship was once complicated, though she chose to take the first step in reconciling with her mum.

“It was me who, in a sense, ‘hated’ her first anyway,” explains Sharon. “When I realised I was the one [with resentment] first, then I felt I should be the first to open up to accept this mother-daughter relationship. So I was the one who loved first, and once I loved, she loved me back deeply.”

“Do you feel that there is closure already?” asks Jeanette. 

Sharon confesses: “Not yet. Because my mum still doesn’t tell me everything, and there are many things I still don’t dare to ask her.”

She also faces an inner struggle when it comes to her late father. 

“He passed away before I ever got the chance to seek closure, to ask him a bunch of questions. So I feel that in that aspect, it will always be kind of a pity. It’s a regret,” she shares. 

Moving to Paris, however, has played a key part in her healing process. 

“Sometimes I have to tell myself to let go and stop trying to overcompensate or blame. Then I realised, in the situation where I have to let go, leaving for Paris was the best decision,” she says. 

She took the chance to start anew, and being away from home let her look at things from a wider perspective. Being in Paris allowed her to look past many things, and allowed her space to find peace. 

“People say I’m very filial, but I’m actually not the filial daughter people imagine me to be. So even when I say things like ‘My mum is 76, I should come back’, there was some sadness when I said that. Because you see, I’m still putting my own happiness and comfort before my mum,” she explains. 

“Sometimes my friends scold me. They said, ‘If you were really that filial, you wouldn’t have moved away. You’re the only child, and your mum is alone’. So there’s a contradiction in that,” she continues.

"I don’t think I'm a filial daughter," admits Sharon, who returns to Singapore about once a year. "Every time I came back, it’s because of a job or a performance. So I was always in a busy state, not the kind where I was able to spend time with my mum every day."

"There was once my mum asked me ‘Can you come back for once with no events [to attend] at all?’, just to accompany her. I said no," she continues.

The message she wishes to get across? “Parents, never abandon your kids, because it has a huge impact on their emotional well-being later on,” she says.

Watch Sharon and Jeanette's full interview below.