Kin Star Rachel Wan Mourns Death Of Her Dad, Whom She Reconciled With Months Before He Succumbed To Cancer
In her post, the 26-year-old shared that she “grew up resenting” her dad, who stopped being in her life after her parents divorced when she was 12.
Coming to terms with the passing of a loved one is always hard, and for local actress Rachel Wan, 26, her dad's death was extra painful.
The Kin star penned a heartfelt open letter to her dad in an Instagram post on March 22, shedding more light on her relationship with him.
"The loss of a parent hits so differently. I never knew this pain of losing one of the two people you’ve known your entire life. We should never assume we have that much time with anyone and grudges are often not worth holding on to,” she wrote.
Rachel also added: "[My dad] didn’t know how to be the best of dads, but no matter what, he’s still my daddy and I know he’s a good man. Rest well, daddy. I hope you’re in peace and without pain anymore. I love you."
Rachel with her parents and younger brother
In a previous interview with 8days.sg, Rachel shared she drew from her personal experiences when acting out scenes with her reel-life father in Kin, who’s described as an “absentee father”.
Rachel’s parents divorced when she was 12, and she currently lives with her her mother, a pre-school teacher, and a younger brother.
In her Instagram post, Rachel revealed that she never really talked about her dad ‘cos he stopped being around in her life since she was a kid, and ‘cos he left her and her brother behind after the divorce.
"I hadn’t seen him for years and I refused to reach out because I thought - “If I really meant something to him as a daughter, he would make the effort.” I grew up resenting him for all the abandonment issues I ended up with. Deep down I also knew that he always cared, he just didn’t know how to reach out to me. I didn’t make it easy as well,” she wrote.
A recent family meal
But, when she found out that he’d been diagnosed with esophageal cancer, she started seeing him more.
"When I learnt about [his diagnosis], I was surprised that my first instinct was to forget any grudges I had. How could I continue hating him when he was sick? My daddy needed me,” she wrote.
Rachel went on to share a couple of her fondest memories with her dad when she was younger, from how he always carried her to her room whenever she pretended to fall asleep in the car, to how he surprised her with a sewing machine set that she really wanted.
An unexpected parting
However, their relationship turned stagnant and distant post-divorce.
"I used to wonder if I should, or if he even deserved to be invited to my future wedding. Now… I don’t even have that choice anymore. Losing him has been a lot more painful that I expected. I always thought I wouldn’t have to deal with the loss of him until later on in my life," she wrote.
"The biggest [takeaway] for me throughout this ordeal is really that life is short and can be even shorter for some. My dad was 58. I thought I had time. I spent so much time resenting the fact that he left and repressed the times he was actually there in my childhood. It was easier to hate him than miss him. I really wish I had more time with him,” Rachel added.
In a bittersweet turn of events, after reconciling with her dad, Rachel also found out that he'd been keeping up with Kin.
"It hurts so much to think about how he won’t get to see the finale,” she wrote. Kin will be ending its run on March 31, after over 850 episodes.
“However, he at least got to see me on my first Chinese project, Say It Right!. He seemed to be the most proud of me in that one," she revealed.
In Say It Right!, influencers who are more comfortable conversing in English will have to step out of their comfort zones to speak only Mandarin in a series of challenges.
You can catch up on all episodes of Kin on meWATCH. You can also watch the first episode of Kin below:
Say It Right! is also available to binge-watch on meWATCH. The first episode is also available below:Photos: Rachel Wan/Instagram
