Cheryl Wee On How Motherhood Helped Her Overcome An Eating Disorder, And Why She Left Showbiz

Cheryl Wee, 38, had known she wanted to be an actress since she was four. But in 2016, after making her big-screen debut as a leading actress in My Love Sinema, she left showbiz just as her career appeared to be taking off.

In the latest episode of The Irene Ang Show, Cheryl opens up to Irene, who was executive producer on My Love Sinema, about her struggles with body image, and the challenges she faced before deciding to step away from what had always been her dream.

When asked about her "sudden disappearance" from showbiz, Cheryl revealed: "Before [appearing in] My Love Sinema, I was in the midst of an eating disorder. Not only that, I had a body dysmorphic disorder where I didn't want to see my own body. I thought I was very fat, and I had this extreme phobia of people saying I was fat, and I was only 40kg."

Cheryl admitted to "really spiralling" when she was in Taiwan for work. She faced intense scrutiny when it came to how she looked, and would not be considered for roles because her face was "too round". 

"I couldn't do anything 'cos my face is like that. But then you start to believe that you're fat," said Cheryl, adding that while talent is also important for an actress, the "look" is also of priority. 

She would binge on cakes, ice cream, and bread in a single sitting, then skip meals for the next three days, surviving only on detox drinks because she "felt guilty". She even came up with a "diet plan" where for three days, she only drank three cups of oat milk a day, but continued exercising and working. 

Her eating disorder became so severe that she stopped having her periods after returning to Singapore. Her condition didn’t improve, as she was surrounded by actresses who were also anxious about their body image and weight.

When asked how she eventually began healing from her eating disorder, Cheryl said: "I got pregnant."

Her first child, a son, was born in 2018, with Cheryl admitting that he was a "miracle child", given that she was not having her periods. 

"One of the things I did was that I prayed a lot. I prayed 'God just don't let go of me' because I felt like something was not right with me," said Cheryl who explained that at that time, she could be having a conversation with someone, but found it hard to be present. 

She added: "My comfort zone was when I was reading about dieting, and when I was dieting."

Thankfully, becoming a mother helped her break free from her self-destructive habits, and she eventually recovered from her eating disorder.

Addressing her departure from showbiz, Cheryl said: "I was one-part proud of myself because I was doing things that I loved, but I felt so bad because I couldn't give my 100 per cent. I felt that I could be better, because although I could do my lines and everything, I was still holding back 20 per cent as I was very conscious about how I looked."

"When you are not conscious, that's when you can fully give yourself [to acting] because then it's not about how I look, but about the character or role," she added. 

After overcoming her struggles with body image, Cheryl turned her focus to her family and her business.

In 2016, she founded the wellness and weight management brand Cheryl W, now known as CW (Company of Wellness). The company focuses on holistic health, positive body image and sustainable weight management for women.

Cheryl has also been involved with her mother’s beauty brand, Jean Yip Group, contributing to aspects of the business while running her own company.

Despite all that, Cheryl's love for performing has endured. 

At the start of her career, she joined pageants to showcase her talent and pursue opportunities in showbiz. She worked for years, competing in multiple pageants to get a foothold in the industry, and is now ready to return to her dream.

When asked if motherhood had shifted her perspective on performing and fame, Cheryl confessed: "I don't think you can really forget about it to be honest. It's something that's always been in the back of my head. I really thought it was done and dusted, I am proud of it, I tried my best."

Irene replied: "You've matured, you have more experience, you've experienced childbirth, I feel like you should come back to the industry and give it one more shot."

She then announced that Cheryl had been offered a three-year contract with her company, Fly Entertainment, and that she wants to work together with her to restart her showbiz dreams. 

"And you know what? I will tell my 10-year-old self 'I got to work with Rosie!'" cheered Cheryl, referencing Irene's character in Phua Chu Kang. 

She added: "It's never really left my heart because I have this interest and passion, and I'm in a place right now where I have my priorities right, where it's not about just how [I] look. It's about the passion for this industry, and I think this industry is so amazing where you can put out works that can inspire and influence. It would be a privilege to be part of that."

So does this mean we'll see Cheryl in her showbiz comeback soon?