Belinda Lee Opens Up About Losing Her Mum To Cancer And Breaking Up With Her Fiancé

These days, she traipses around the world to give motivational pep talks to the down and out. The actress-host-over-achiever has also distilled over a decade’s worth of her travels into her debut motivational book Larger than Life: Celebrating The Human Spirit, which she says “has pulled some people from the brink of death. Young girls. People in prison. After reading my book, they stopped thinking about killing themselves.” In the acting department, the actress is putting the pain of losing her mum to breast cancer to good use in Ch 5 drama BRA, where she plays a breast cancer survivor. “I’m pretty much like a mouthpiece for my mum and what she went through,” she says.

Next February, she will also reprise her hosting role in Ch 5 reality show RenovAID that helps needy families makeover their homes. “When I was young, I never had enough money to buy new uniforms so I always looked shabby. And I didn’t eat well ’cos my family wasn’t well-to-do. So when I do a show like RenovAID, I know how [the beneficiaries] feel and I cry with them.”

So life may have hurled a crateful of rotten lemons at her, but Belinda did what Beyoncé did. “I turned them into sweet-tasting lemonade.”

Here are six things to know about the intrepid go-getter.

“I’ve been through so much suffering in life that I want to help others ’cos I understand how it feels to suffer from low self-esteem and depression, to be misunderstood and called names. It’s not new to many people ’cos I go to different churches to share my life story. In school, I was called names like ugly duckling. I was also told things like I’m a good-for-nothing, or that I’d never measure up to anything in life, or that I’m so scrawny and dark like a kampong chicken. I was even abused by teachers. It was very difficult. I hated school. I never excelled in school. [But] it seems that all my past pain and hurts are slowly turning into my strength. ’Cos when I’m asked to interview the poor and needy, or people suffering from depression, I seem to be able to connect with them ’cos of my past. Now when I look back, I’m thankful for all the lemons that life has thrown at me ’cos I turned them into sweet-tasting lemonade.”

Belinda plays a breast cancer survivor in her first Ch 5 drama, BRA, about an oncologist (played by Beatrice Chia-Richmond) who gets diagnosed with breast cancer and has eight months to live. The actress, whose own mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009 and passed away early last year at 66 after a relapse, said that the role deeply resonated with her. “A lot of Brenda’s experiences was what my mum went through. It was very difficult. But through all her pain, struggles and sufferings, I saw so much strength, courage and perseverance. So I told myself I’m not going to play Brenda as that pathetic cancer survivor. But as a strong woman ’cos that’s what a breast cancer survivor represents — strength, courage and fearlessness.”

What do you remember most about your mum’s cancer ordeal, we ask. “When she was having her chemo treatment, she would tell me that she feels like there are a million ants going through her entire body, and that she was in pain. But the moment they took out the tubes after the treatment, she would suddenly just smile again,” shares Belida, as tears roll down her cheeks. “She would put on that ‘I’m okay’ face ’cos she wanted her children to be okay. And towards the end of her life, when she had a relapse, she would still face the world with so much courage. When she was on her death bed, she instructed one of my relatives to cook a scrumptious meal to take to her church and serve it to its members and pastors. I looked at her — a dying person who wasn’t thinking about herself, but who was still looking out for the interests of others. I’d never forget her beautiful selfless spirit."

She added: "There was a scene [in BRA] where my onscreen husband Jimmy [Taenaka] had to shave my head bald. I wore a bald cap. And when he cut my hair, my tears were just flowing. Then suddenly, I remembered my mum. And I held it all together again, instead of crumbling. I looked into the mirror and I let out a slight smile. It almost feels like my mum’s spirit lives on through Brenda (laughs).”

Having travelled around the world for over a decade hosting travelogues, Belinda has had some wild on-the-road encounters. “It’s always crazy. Close shaves with death [happen] all the time ’cos we go to places that aren’t exactly safe, and where there are always riots. Once, I had to build a library in a mountainous village in China. We spent nine days driving by the edge of the mountain, where the ground is often uneven ’cos of mudslides and landslides. Then one day, a nine-year old volunteer in the car asked me, “Xin Yu jie jie, are we about to die soon?” ’Cos at any time, if the driver is not careful, with just one tilt of the vehicle, we’re gone! (Laughs) When I was living in the wilderness in Africa, [whenever] I wanted to go pee at night, I was so afraid that some strange animal will eat me up. Basically, my life is one big adventure. Some of my friends said my life is very much like [that of the protagonist in] The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (laughs).”

“In 2012, when I was filming travelogue Find Me A Singaporean in Mongolia, I met a girl who was suffering from cancer and other illnesses. She had worm-infested wounds all over her body and was dying. And when the doctors were cleaning her wounds, I looked at her and all of a sudden, she smiled and asked me to play arm wrestling with her. Of course, I allowed her to win. When she won, she let out another big smile and said, ‘Yes, I win! I’m stronger than you!’ At that time, I was suffering from depression [after my break-up] and thinking of giving up on myself. But when I met her, I suddenly felt so ashamed. Here she was, fighting for her life. And there I was, wanting to waste my life away. Her smile was like a ray of light and hope that shone so brightly into the depths of my heart.”

Following the recent Harvey Weinstein scandal, sexual assault victims have been trending the #metoo hashtag worldwide, sharing their experiences. And Belinda also has stories to share. “It’s common, especially in our industry. I absolutely hate it whenever I need to take pictures with members of the public, and some of these sleazy old men, especially if they’re sponsors or potential clients, feel that they have the right to grope me, or put their hands around my waist. It’s very frustrating ’cos I don’t want to offend these people. But at the same time, I feel very disgusted to have to deal with men who have absolutely no respect for women. When I was in India for a travelogue, I was molested three times in half-an-hour in a market. One man walked into me and hit my boob, then another grabbed my butt, and the third groped my va-jay-jay. I was wearing jeans lah. But I wanted to cry. I felt so violated. And sometimes, it’s not even the physical violation, but how a man looks at me and strips me naked with his eyes. That to me is sexual harassment. It’s happened to me so many times. You know, the way they look at me, I really wanted to dig out their eyes and send them to prison immediately. Even though they did not rape me, but I felt that they have already raped me with their eyes.”

Belinda went through a painful break-up with her fiancé six years ago, and has been single since then. “It felt like a divorce — six years together did not feel like a break-up to me. It’s not like it was six months,” she laughs. When we asked who called the wedding off, she says, “The both of us just knew towards the end. We just couldn’t continue anymore. There was no more transparency and honesty to have a healthy relationship. Let’s not even talk about marriage. But I’m over and done with that part of my life. I’ve completely moved on and there’s no need for me to bring up or even think about the past. To me, that’s a chapter completely closed, shut and locked away that I’d never ever want to address again. And he’s married. So I don’t want his family or loved ones to read this and misunderstand me again — that I’m trying to rake up the past, that I’m being insensitive, or that I’m still in love with this man. I don’t want such nonsense anymore. To me, it’s a chapter closed. Please, you move on with your life and I move on with mine. (Laughs) I don’t want to have anything more to do with this man or this relationship.”

BRA airs every Mon to Thur, Ch 5, 10pm. Catch-up on Toggle.sg. RenovAID premieres Feb 6, 2018, and airs Tue, 9.30pm.

PHOTOS: EALBERT HO