Woman In Singapore Is A Grandma At 42; Often Gets Mistaken For Her Grandson's Mum

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If you've ever spotted Bex Xia strolling around with a toddler, chances are you'd make the same assumption everyone else does: that she's out with her son. 

Except, he isn't her son, but her grandson. 

The 42-year-old AI automation business owner became a grandmother last year. Her 45-year-old husband's son from a previous relationship had welcomed a baby boy.

Bex prefers to keep the child's mother's identity private but tells 8days.sg that her stepson and the mother of his child have since gone their separate ways. However, both families continue to work closely together to raise the little boy, who is now 20 months old. 

She tells us that while she isn't the child's biological grandmother, she has embraced the role wholeheartedly. 

Because of her age, Bex says she and her husband are often mistaken for the little boy's parents.

“When we tell people he's our grandson, they think we said 'godson’. It sometimes takes a few rounds of conversation before they realise what we actually meant,” she tells us.

Rather than finding it awkward, Bex says she quite enjoys seeing people's reactions.

Becoming a grandmother at 41 also gave Bex a perspective she wasn't expecting.

In a heartfelt Instagram post where she shared about "the biggest lessons I've learnt being a grandparent at 42", Bex reflected on how watching her grandson grow up has reminded her how many adults gradually lose their inner child.

“When I look at him, I don't just see a child. I see everything we all once were,” she wrote.

“Maybe the lesson isn't that childhood is gone forever. Maybe the lesson is that the most alive parts of us are still there,” she wrote.

Speaking to 8days.sg, Bex admitted becoming a grandmother in her early 40s wasn't something she had ever imagined.

“It means I skipped parenthood to grandparenthood. I think it's wonderful I get to experience this so young and still have the energy and resources to look after him,” she tells us. 

Bex admits her first reaction wasn't excitement when she first found out that her stepson was expecting a child with his then-girlfriend.

“When we first found out about the pregnancy, we were worried because the parents themselves are very young. We were worried they wouldn't be able to take care of the child and that it might affect their life trajectory,” she told us, before adding that she respected their decision.

Looking back now, she can't imagine things any other way.

“He's such a beautiful child. It's hard to imagine that they had decided not to keep him. Life is full of surprises, I guess,” Bex says.

Fast forward to today, and it's hard to imagine life without the little boy.

Much of the couple's free time revolves around their energetic grandson. And she says her grandson’s favourite activity is anything involving water.

“He loves the pool, the beach and the water park at Gardens by the Bay. He has pure joy when he's in the water. No fear,” she says.

She also can't help smiling at when he goes around saying hello to complete strangers.

In fact, watching the interactions has become one of her favourite things.

“People are usually caught off guard because they're in their own world. But they always soften and smile back,” she says.

“To me, it's such a beautiful reminder that maybe I should do more of that too,” Bex adds.

Perhaps what made this post hit differently with Bex was that she never expected to experience raising a young child at all.

“I decided I didn't want biological children when I was in my 30s. But I guess the universe had other plans,” she tells us, describing her grandson as an unexpected gift.

“Maybe because I was never a parent, I observe him with a sense of awe,” she added.

Seeing him has also reminded her that many adults are still carrying childhood wounds they never fully healed from.

“I know a lot of people struggle with childhood trauma. They have forgotten what it's like to trust, to receive love and to feel connected,” she says.

Her hope is that the post encourages people to reconnect with that part of themselves.

“My intention wasn't really about grandparenthood,” she explained, adding that it is about being human.

While friends flooded her with supportive messages, the public response wasn't entirely positive.

“There were quite a few unkind comments from strangers,” she tells us, though she isn’t taking them to heart.

“They just show me they're somehow hurting and want to be angry with the world. I just want more kindness in the world,” she says.

Photos: bex.xia/IG